McDonald's - Gripe

Maybe you are not astonished that I have a gripe about McDonald’s, but I am genuinely surprised. My annual trek to the Golden Arches satisfies my occasional urge for a Big Mac meal and my curiosity about the latest toys. The last few years have seen a swathe of bad press for the fast food giant, particularly with Morgan Spurlock’s film, Supersize Me, and Eric Schlosser’s book, Fast Food Nation, both of which I took in with avid fascination.

Two years ago, I thought the healthy changes to the menu were promising. Upon arrival at my local McDonald’s, some of the first things I saw were fresh orange juice, yogurts, carrot sticks, salads, fruit, and skimmed milk. I didn’t buy or eat any of it, because quite frankly, those items appear in my grocery basket every week. When I go to McDonald’s I want calories, fat, and sugar. Lucky me. It’s nice to get what you want.

The kids and I got one of the nutritional information sheets from under the meal deals covering our tray and had a good read through the grease spots. On this particular occasion I had a chocolate itch I’d decided to scratch with a muffin and milkshake. My elder son had a large Big Mac meal. Guess who ate the most calories? Me. Guess who ate the most fat? Me. Guess who ate the most sugar? Me again. Keeping in mind that the purpose of this outing was not to have diet food, I didn’t panic, but I was rather astounded.

On this year’s pilgrimage, I had the bizarre inclination that I’d go for the healthy option. Whenever I’d been past the Prince’s Street outlet, the posters in the window showed me photos of lovely salads, sandwiches, and the usual seasonally themed McFlurry, currently, Cadbury egg. However, between my last passing and this particular visit, a new promotion had kicked off – Monopoly.

Scanning the menu board, I saw only one salad – Crispy chicken. I may be a bit dim, but I’m food savvy enough to figure out that deep fried bits of poultry make a salad fattening. Skipping past that option, I looked for something greener. This elusive entity never materialised. The board was filled with burger meals, deli sandwich meals (more fried chicken), and more McFlurries. The preeminent promotion was the number of Monopoly tokens each meal would give you. No items were listed individually, and nothing looked remotely like a “healthy option.” The one obvious alteration I can report is that there is no such size as “super.” It stops at large.

So here’s the gripe. What if I wanted a meal that didn’t contain over half my daily allowance of sugar? What if I wanted to have a quick lunch that wouldn’t make my GP shake his head at my triglyceride levels? What if my kids were screaming for the latest Happy Meal toy and I wanted to get my lunch while simultaneously gagging their demands with burgers and fries? Does this mean I’d have to use my resolve and say no to the kids and go to a salad bar – or worse, home?

What is McDonalds doing? Two years ago I really thought they were “going healthy.” So they offer a green salad at 15 calories. How am I supposed to know this if I can’t see it on the menu? Do I have to read it on the back of my tray liner as I eat my large fries? Any why, oh why, can’t they serve food that will stay hot for more than three minutes? As a reformed hyper-speed muncher, I concentrate on eating my meals slowly. As it turns out, I prefer hot over properly chewed. I thought McDonald’s were on my side. I thought they were on the side of everyone who identifies with Ronald, but who hates being super-sized.

Maybe I thought wrong. Or maybe McDonald’s has stopped succumbing to political pressure from the nutrition Nazis and has begun to re-examine the bottom line. If no one is buying the salads, the yogurt, or the carrot sticks, they have to be fiscally prudent and put the fries back at the forefront of the menu. What does this say about the consumer? Do we have a deep seeded desire to be fat? Do we like high cholesterol? Are we secret fans of spots? Or, is everyone like me and uses the golden arches as an occasional refuge from a healthy lifestyle? Are we saying let us eat chicken nuggets?

I am so fast food confused. Perhaps I’ll have to wait until McDonald's has sorted out its identity crisis before I decide to cross the threshold again. If you are the least bit concerned about what eating that deli sandwich meal means to your bottom line, read your tray liner and have the tissues ready. Undoubtedly, my best bet is to stick to my original strategy and go for the bacon double cheeseburger every twelve months. That can’t be bad for me once a year. Can it?